Big Sunglasses: Because you are too ugly to go without them.

I really don't think I need to disclose any information about this next topic. If you've been paying attention like good little boys and girls, then you have probably noticed that I have been constantly bashing styles and trends. Why not, you ask, put them all into one post? Well, some days things piss me off more than others, (especially when people spell 'hot' with TWO Ts), and deserve their own posts. End of the story.

Hmmm. What's to say about the huge fake Gucci sunglasses that girls wear nowadays? Have you ever noticed them? Well, I was in Target the other day (Target isn't smelly like Wal-Mart, and the people are a lot better). I saw a girl in the shampoo aisle, with the horrendously ugly looking quiff hairstyle, and HUGE brown sunglasses.

Last time I checked, the sun wasn't shining in the store. I looked around, desperately trying to find a light source that deserved to be blocked out, but found none. I speculated that maybe the "future was too bright", but that hasn't been the case since 1989. (Since the 90s were ultimately terrible, except for Nickelodeon shows).

Why do these girls need to wear these HUGE specs in stores, snapping their gum and texting like fools? I have done some research, and as a result of vigorous scientific research, I have come up with this solution:

The huge sunglasses cover up about 50 percent of the face. Therefore, that means, with the features covered, that girl is 50 percent less ugly. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I understood! The glasses are for very nervous girls. However, keep in mind that if you fall for a girl with these windshields on their face, remember to tell her that she looks good in the glasses, so you will never see her ugly face.

Here's an example for any of you that need a visual example:
Here is an ugly girl:

And here is the same ugly girl with BIG glasses on:

SEE THE DIFFERENCE!?!?!??

Actually there are some retards who like this look. When I was Googling for images to use, I came across a blog with this one reply, and it summed up exactly WHAT kind of guy likes the glasses:

I don't think I have anything to say about this. Wow.

Actually, now that I look back at it, I shouldn't be complaining about the glasses. A world with less uggos definitely holds a bright future. So disregard the whole post. Sorry about that.