Texting: The most useless thing since the fax machine.

Seriously guys, what the fuck is wrong with you? No matter where I go, I see huge groups of bubblegum snapping, huge sunglass-wearing (I'll save that for a later post), texting attention whores carrying their HUGE ugly Razrs or Blackberries around.

I know you've seen it. Some girl, sitting alone or in a group, nervously checking their phone every 5 seconds. They glance at it, furiously type out some useless shit on a NUMERICAL keypad, and sending their stupid ass text message to their stupid ass friends.

Help me out Gilbert Gottfried:


WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

I just don't get it. What's not to get, you ask? Here are my reasons:

1. What can you say in a text that you can't say in person? Instead of texting thousands of messages over a period of a week, you can SAY those sentences over the phone in about 10 minutes.
2. You look retarded.
3. When I go to see Pirates of The Caribbean, I see a sea of fucking LCD screens as stupid teens text about the movie or some shit.
4. You can't possibly type efficiently with a 10 key number pad. Why the fuck would you want to press a key 3 or 4 times just to get to a letter?
5. OMG, I haet teh wy u tlk when u txt!!!!!!!11!one!! (What the FUCK does TEH mean, anyway?)

I think America should forget about the No Child Left Behind policy, because these kids are too retarded to pass Middle School. I mean, you sound as dumb as this guy: